Anxiety

[EMSsquirrel]

So, I'm starting to get this feeling that I need drugs. I've really been putting this off, but I'm this nervous wreck almost. I've always known I've been a bit obsessive-compulsive, but last night seemed to drive it home a bit more. We got back from a call, and I was walking around the unit, inspecting every little ding and scratch, trying to remember if they were there when I started the tour. When my partner asked me what I was doing, I told her that I was making sure I didn't hit anything. I didn't hear anything, I didn't feel anything, but I couldn't be sure without looking. I do the same thing with my car, too. Once I drive through an intersection with a green light, say, I'll look in the mirror to make sure I didn't cause an accident. Or if I run a yellow light, I'll later go back to that intersection to check and see if there was a red light camera that might have caught me, just in case.

I know being cautious when driving is good, but I think she's right and this is a bit excessive. And it's not just confined to matters of the automotive domain. I worry so much about everything. There will be something I'm worrying about, and I'll keep worrying about it until the next major thing comes along. I'm just so bummed out, because I don't want to take drugs. Drugs and psychiatric problems are bad things when it comes to getting and maintaining a security clearance, which I'll need to do in the future. But I'd rather take drugs than become an alcoholic or something. And it's not that I'm depressed. It's not that at all. I'm quite happy, except with the fact that I worry.

That's the biggest thing I'm worried about (heh, now I'm worrying about taking drugs for worrying), is the security clearance. But maybe taking those drugs will help me get over my fear of heights, since I won't be so dang afraid of tumbling @$$ over tea-kettle from a ladder, say.

- Greg

[btroutm]

There are other solutions besides medication and alcohol. Perhaps you should simply try talking to a professional. Most psychological issues can be dealt with through simple therapy. Also, don't worry about security clearance. You're not going to lose clearance for talking to a doctor. Besides, not seeking help can have far worse consequences.

[Nate]

Wow, you need a script for medical grade weed. :D Just playing; I'd talk to someone about your stressing out so much.

[WELLAGEDEMT]

Sometimes it's okay to talk about your fears to professionals, sometimes you'll get responses that you won't like but DO talk to someone. Some of the issues you describe sound a little excessive but they are what make you YOU. I could offer some advise, Just remember that you are the one to make the necessary changes in your character and what you chose to do is what will give you peace of mind, You are second guessing the things most of us take for granted and normal. You have a mountain/molehill complex. just relax, if you do something wrong, someone's going to let you know about it. Take the time to smell the roses!!!!!!!

[EMSsquirrel]

Thanks guys. Yeah, Ray, I know someone would let me know. Like, if I sideswiped a car while driving the medic, I KNOW someone would call 911 to inform them that an ambulance just broadsided them and fled the scene, and they're now trapped, paralyzed, and blind. :rolleyes:

I'm a perfectionist, yeah, but I do think this is a bit more excessive, and it's more than just "who I am." I mean, yes, I'm careful. I like to double-check things. I care about getting things right. That's me. But turning around to make sure I didn't hit someone, or something like that? That ain't right. And it's not like I HAVE to. I can and do keep driving, but I WANT to turn around and check.

- Greg

[mcaldwell]

You know he's Being from Canada, I might just second the medicinal weed suggestion. :D

I have a residual anal-obsessive-compulsive streak left over from my military days (I once caught myself turning all the screws on my light switch covers in the same direction :confused: ), but today I try not to let it interfere with my productivity. If you think it's begginning to interfere with your day to day life, go have a talk with someone. Worst case scenario, you lose another afternoon that you could have spent at the beach. ;)

[Nate]

You know he's Being from Canada, I might just second the medicinal weed suggestion. :D



:bow: In my other life, I'm a pot head with Tom Petty. :lol:

[celestialdaisy]

There are other solutions besides medication and alcohol. Perhaps you should simply try talking to a professional. Most psychological issues can be dealt with through simple therapy. Also, don't worry about security clearance. You're not going to lose clearance for talking to a doctor. Besides, not seeking help can have far worse consequences.

No, you won't lose your clearances. You should only lose those if you're admitted to the nut house on a 302. And don't feel too bad, any time I go through and intersection, come around a turn or especially go through construction (and there's a lot of it around here), I have to look in my mirror to make sure I didn't run anyone over. I know I didn't, but I have to check just to make sure. It's not just you, we've all got quirky little flaws. Some just happen to be a little more dominating than others. Therapy can do wonders.

[SteelMaiden]

Talk to someone. Nobody will take away your clearance for it. (I'm beginning to feel like we are doing an intervention here) You recognize that you have a tendency to overdo the little checks that folks do each day to the point where you feel compulsed to do them. That means that you are already halfway there to keeping them under control, right? but if you don't get some help from someone to deal with your behavior, chances are that you will become obsessive about controlling your compulsiveness. So, talk to someone, they probably need not put you on drugs, since you seem to have a firm and realistic understanding of what the problem is, now you just need to find out why, right?

Good luck, almost all of us go through something in life that asking for help would benefit us, there is no stigma in being smart enough to search it out, only in being too stubborn not to. God Bless.

[EMSsquirrel]

So maybe I'm just paranoid... hmm... and maybe you all are just telling me this to lull me into a false sense of security, hoping that one night I won't double-check the locks on my front door, and you'll all break in at three in the morning, scalp me, and eat my brains!!!!!!!!







Maybe I'd be better off if I stopped smoking so much crack? :D :D

- Greg

[Nate]

So maybe I'm just paranoid... hmm... and maybe you all are just telling me this to lull me into a false sense of security, hoping that one night I won't double-check the locks on my front door, and you'll all break in at three in the morning, scalp me, and eat my brains!!!!!!!!

I'll be honest, I would be to busy making sure I got your TV, computer, food, etc. I'll pass on the brains. I might put your hand in a cup of hot water, but that is about it.

Maybe I'd be better off if I stopped smoking so much crack? :D :D

Yeah, no comment. :lol:

[WELLAGEDEMT]

If we're out a three AM, looking for something to eat, we'll want something more than a light snack. :rotflmao:

[celestialdaisy]

We might just take the crack instead. :lol: