IAMedic
10-26-2003, 22:19
Warning, women!! This is very chauvinistic, don't read this unless you can take a joke!! This is your disclaimer, do not blame me!! I am not a chauvinist, but find these very funny!! :twisted:
Q: How many men does it take to open a beer?
A: None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.
Q: Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
A: Because women who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
Q: Why do women have smaller feet than men?
A: So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink.
Q: How do you fix a woman's watch?
A: You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
Q: Why do men break wind more than women?
A: Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.
Q: If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, which do you let in first?
A: The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
Q: What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A: A woman who won't do what she's told.
Q: Why haven't I spoken to my wife for 18 months??
A: I don't like to interrupt her.
Q: Why do men die before their wives?
A: They want to.
I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%. It's called a Wedding Cake.
Marriage is a 3-ring circus: Engagement Ring, Wedding Ring, and Suffering.
In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created Man and rested. Then God created Woman. Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a baldhead and a beer gut, and still think they are beautiful.
Q: How many men does it take to open a beer?
A: None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.
Q: Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
A: Because women who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
Q: Why do women have smaller feet than men?
A: So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink.
Q: How do you fix a woman's watch?
A: You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
Q: Why do men break wind more than women?
A: Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.
Q: If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, which do you let in first?
A: The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
Q: What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A: A woman who won't do what she's told.
Q: Why haven't I spoken to my wife for 18 months??
A: I don't like to interrupt her.
Q: Why do men die before their wives?
A: They want to.
I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%. It's called a Wedding Cake.
Marriage is a 3-ring circus: Engagement Ring, Wedding Ring, and Suffering.
In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created Man and rested. Then God created Woman. Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a baldhead and a beer gut, and still think they are beautiful.